Monday, January 26, 2009

Hockey Night in Winnipeg

bffK's little guys in their way-late Christmas jams. Check out the cuteness!


As an absentee aunty, it's a challenge to maintain name and face recognition, let alone relevance in the lives of active, little people, with a great a big world to explore. To these guys, "Ottawa" is as much a part of my persona as say, my glasses, or my hair (or so I imagine). I'm not around enough to firm up another identity. I'm not the one who takes them to movies. Or the one who always has gum and quarters in her purse. I'm never there for birthdays or school concerts or even the occasional babysitting gig. Nope, I'm the one who shows up in their lives once every eight months or so...from Ottawa. And so, in a blatant attempt to stay in their conciousness, I look for that Ottawa angle and I exploit it. Sorry guys, you almost got a laser tag game set for Christmas.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Birthday Eve

Hola amigos, amigas, y mi familia!!!

Currently in TO celebrating birthday eve. Love mini getaways. Am sipping bubbly, listening to tunes and noshing on antipasto in a swanky hotel room. Am headed for the hot tub and a late dinner. Le sigh....

Hope you are all celebrating -----uary in your own special way!

Love,

Rice

xoxox

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Politics is Negotiation

Prudence limits the extent to which I may freely delve into the political issues of the day. Humour dictates that I sneak a few into the margins.

Let's take negotiation.

Now, I don't mean haggling - that good art is entirely delegated to the intrepid Ms. Rice. I realize that a certain degree of haggling is good form, but I cannot barter down the price of a hand-stitched cotton wallet when the opening salvo translates to roughly $1.75 CDN... much to the shock of the Ghanaian vendor women (and the disgust of Ms. Rice).

What I'm referring to here is negotiation. The multi-million dollar kind.

The Amalgamated Transit Union here in Capital City has been on strike for 40 some odd days, after rejecting a fairly generous offer from the city - a 7.5% increase spread over 3 years, plus more sick days and a $2,500 per head "productivity" bonus. In return, the drivers (and mechanics) are being asked to cede a bizarre provision regarding scheduling that results in "quality of life" improvements for the drivers... (ssssshhh... and the ability to manufacture $4.5 million of overtime pay per year).

Here's an accurate representation of the prevailing public sentiment, as expressed by a colorful speciality shop:
I heartily concur.

On another note, it occurs to me that the Territorial Leaders (not Premiers, as that official designation is held for the poo-bahs of Provinces), are in an inherently inferior negotiating position at affairs such as the recent First Ministers' Meeting. Given their small populations, lack of capacity, and extreme dependence on Federal transfers, it's hard to imagine a situation in which the Territories would have the South over a barrel.

Enter Floyd "Tiger" Roland. My advice to the Honorable Madam Aariak and the Honorable Mr. Fentie is that they allow Floyd "Boom Boom" Roland to be the point man on all future F/P/T negotiations (guess which one he is).

After, promising a more aggressive approach to F/P/T relations, http://www.cbc.ca/canada/nwtvotes2007/story/2007/10/17/nwt-premier.html, Floyd shows he means biz-niz!

Fighting premier gets three-game suspension
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Politics/2009/01/14/8025821-cp.html

Northwest Territories Premier Floyd Roland is greeted by Prime Minister Stephen Harper before the provincial and territoral first ministers meeting in Ottawa on Friday, Jan. 11, 2008.

Few will mistake him for Dave "The Hammer" Schultz, but opponents may think twice before dropping the gloves with Northwest Territories Premier Floyd Roland.

The hulking Roland, who spends evenings patrolling the blue-line for a "B" division hockey team in Yellowknife, squared off Sunday with a feisty forward on the opposing squad.

The Yellowknife Rec Hockey League had no choice but to come down hard on the territorial premier - it handed him a three-game suspension

Truly and completely awesome. You can't get more Canadian that that!!!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

That was so good...I think I need a cigarette.

New blog label, folks! As sad as it is that I have enough material to feed this category, I still think you're going to enjoy it. Without further ado, here is our Asshole of the Day for January 10, 2009.

"Oh, no, you di-in't!!!"
But, yes, in true asshole form: did. So, (no great surprise to you, I'm sure) I called the city to have this jerk ticketed and towed. That's $55 for parking in a no parking zone and $75.60 to get your car back from the tow lot.




You'd think the big 10ft door in plain view would make it obvious enough: don't park here. But for those who lack common sense, the city has thoughtfully put up a NO PARKING sign as well.

Here's the tow truck pulling up behind the offender. I was so busy chatting with and thanking the city bylaw officer that I missed the money shot. I'd been waiting to get the pic of the tow truck dragging this loser away but alas, all I have is the mental image.


BONUS: So, while I was out there snapping photos, a woman pulls up and parks her big black SUV behind our asshole of the day. I point out to her that she's in a no parking zone. She snarks at me that she'll only be "two minutes" and continues to walk away. I then added that the "ticket guy is on his way....", but chickie brushes me off and keeps on walking. Well, I must admit, I could not contain my gloating when I saw the bylaw officer turn the corner at that very moment. "Oh, here he is!" I cried out cheerily. The sight of her turning around and RUNNING back to her car...priceless. Ticket guy has pulled up and parked behind her. She gets back into her truck, but not before snarking at me one more time, "I was only going to be two minutes, grrr..." and of course, left with the requisite gunning of her engine as she tore out and sped down the street. Ticket guy finally gets out of his car and asks me, "Was she rude to you?" In my most innocent voice, I reply that madam was less than appreciative of my efforts to save her a ticket. Blink blink. "I'll send it to her in the mail," he says.

Pandemonium

A Beijing zoo panda has bit three tourists in two years, the latest being Zhang Jiao who jumped into the panda’s pen to retrieve his son's toy (cough "idiot" cough). Gu Gu, a 110-kilogram panda, mauled the man's legs and refused to let go until zookeepers pried his jaws open with tools.

Sounds horrible, doesn’t it. Yet, once again, the back-story is key to understanding the situation.

Gu Gu first made news in 2007 when he bit a drunken tourist who jumped into his pen and tried to hug him. The tourist retaliated by biting the panda in the back.

It should come as no surprize to anyone that I’m siding with Gu Gu on this one. On my morning commute, I come face to face with some pretty unsavoury chaps, usually on the path over the bridge which is reduced to a bobsled style corridor after big snowfalls.

If one of these meshugenehs started to hug me up and then in the ensuing struggle bit me in the back… it is probably safe to say that I’d also have an incredibly short fuse. Way to go Gu Gu… putting the Bear back in Panda.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Do Not Call List

This has nothing to do with Lucie. :)

If you LOVE telemarketers as much as I do, you'll want to register your phone/fax/cell on the National Do Not Call list. Click fhe post title to go to the site.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Cue Music!

I gave Beans some iTunes gift cards for Christmas. This has prompted serious debate about what songs should make his final download list. I need to remember this is his present, not mine and so, there will be no disco :) One hit wonders may get a shot. It's a chance to get that one catchy tune without suffering through (or paying for) the rest of a dismal album. International artists too obscure for our local music stores to stock are also front of the line. Favorite songs long relegated to a box in the back of the closet, may be resurrected from their cassette format to live again on the iPod. Which got me to thinking....

"Ah, the mix tape..."

A playlist is a playlist, but there is something about the permanence of the mix tape. Not the cassette itself, of course. Any child of the eighties will recall that sickening garbled strain as a favorite tape, fast forwarded/rewound/replayed one time too many, tangled itself around the guts of the ghetto blaster. Let's face it, we can't expect a little spool of plastic ribbon to last forever. No, I mean more the way those mixed tapes and associated memories are permanently etched in our minds. Decades later and I can still remember who gave me what tape, what was on it and where I was in life at that time.

Exhibit A: The summer we visited Tito L in Ear Falls, Ontario. His two teenage nephews were spending the summer. Having just completed 4th grade, I thought these high schoolers were pretty cool. That was the summer I sported a boy's hair cut (...thanks, by the way, mom.); was slightly heavy for my height (ahem); and I desperately coveted my brother's blue and white satin jacket. The mix tape the nephews gave me (Read: They gave it to my brother but I eventually claimed it) had The Police on one side and Men at Work on the other. I was singing about Vegemite sandwiches long before I even knew what the substance was. And to this day, De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da annoys me to no end.

Exhibit B: Late eighties. I was still getting perms! Grew upwards, instead of outwards, and was now a skinny thing. A skinny thing with great big bucky teeth! Mix tape from a boy. Madonna's True Blue, El Debarge and a whole slew of New Edition songs: Cool it no-oww and Mr. Telephone Man. Classics! I loved that tape. Didn't care too much for the boy, though. (Cackle)

Exhibit C: To be honest, this is a slight exception. Brian Adams. Summer of 69. I don't even know what other songs were on that tape. The only one that mattered was Summer of 69. I'd just had my Cher-hair layered. The "girls" had finally shown up. It was the age of the "magic pants" and going dancing on Saturday nights. I had a full-time job and not a cent of debt. I was free and I was invincible. It should come as no surprise that my car was a red convertible. How many hours did I spend driving around with Brian Adams blaring out of the open top?

I'll close with a list of songs/artists that always make me think of certain people. Check back as I'll be adding songs as they come to me..and I might even write up an explanation of why these tunes and people are so inextricably linked in my mind.

Mom:
The Platters - Twilight Time

Dad:
Werner Thomas - The Bird (though, dad calls it "Chicken") Dance

Big Bro:
The Kinks - Come Dancing

Little Sis:
Anne Murray - Could I Have This Dance
The Monkees - Daydream Believer

Tita P:
The Carpenters - Yesterday Once More

Cousin AD:
The Knack - My Sharona

Tito M:
Omigod, anything Bee Gees!

Cousin AM:
Jefferson Starship - Sara

bff I:
Abba - Dancing Queen

bff K:
Curtis Mayfield - Same Damn Song ? I can't find the title :(
? - Movin (To The Left)