Sunday, August 30, 2009

Maraming salamat hipon!

Today's slice of humour is brought to you by cousin
"Kumain ka na ba?"
You'll notice over there ---> that there is a link to a site called http://engrishfunny.com/, which explores mostly rude and usually hilarious mistaken english translations.

The vast majority of the posts are sent in by english-speaking folks living or travelling around Asia and Eastern Europe. Imagine my delight when I found a perfect example of engrish at my favourite Gas, Bombs and Booze shop on the outskirts of Perth.

I Found this doozy on the back of a 16-shot firework at the Ultramar on highway #7 between Perth and Carleton Place.

"Vomit peony and flash!"

Bewitching? More like shades of Bank & Somerset, but I digress...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Gomi Day

The following is the slighty garbled liner notes that accompany the Shonen Knife song "Gomi Day": With no space in Japanese condominiums, living perpetually amidst garbage is the irony of separating one's waste and holding the sorted rubbish until collection day.

Here in Ottawa, Monday is "regular garbage day", while every other Monday is "cans and bottles" day, with the alternate monday being "newspaper day" and in the summer/fall "yard waste day."

Simple enough, unless you get confused.

Since I have no desire to scoop up garbage after it has been assaulted by the local raccoons and ground hogs (aka Whistle Pigs), over the course of the summer months, I take the garbage out in the morning.

One absence, one holiday monday, and one screw-up (blue or black box?), and all of a sudden the garage has about 2 months worth of "cans and bottles". Did I mention we are super diligent recyclers.

At any rate, at pretty much this exact time yesterday I was browsing through the news on the computer, serenely enjoying the cool morning air. As pleasant at it was, I vowed that I would stop at 7:30 and get my day started by the typical monday morning chores. At precisely 7:29, I hear the characteristic groan of a poorly maintained diesel engine, followed by the clatter of a blue box being up-ended. DAMMIT!

OH MY GOD! It truly is GOMI DAY!

Gomi Day sample: http://www.last.fm/music/%E5%B0%91%E5%B9%B4%E3%83%8A%E3%82%A4%E3%83%95/_/Gomi+Day

Monday's regular garbage day
But I forgot again
There are two big plastic bags
They're lying on the floor
Gomi day monday and thursday
Let's take it out in the morning
Gomi day seems like every day
I hear the truck
I hear the warning

Wednesday's cans and bottles day
But I forgot again
There are four big plastic bags
They're lying on the floor
Gomi day monday and thursday
Let's take it out in the morning
Gomi day seems like every day
I hear the truck
I hear the warning

Now our place is full of bags
It's crowded through and through
I can't even find the door
I don't know what to do
Gomi day monday and thursday
Let's take it out in the morning
Gomi day seems like every day
I hear the truck
I hear the warning