Mutual of Ottawa's Wild Kingdom

AFRICAN LION ESCAPES NEAR OTTAWA

A two-year-old pet lion - named Boomer - was on the loose in Canada's backwoods near the nation's capital Wednesday, sparking a hunt by police, officials said.

The 150-pound (70-kilogram) male African lion escaped overnight Tuesday from an Indian reservation and was last seen near the tiny village of Maniwaki, north of Ottawa, said Melanie Larouche of the Quebec provincial police.

His owner, a member of the Kitigan Zibi Anishinabeg First Nation, has told police the animal is not dangerous.

http://www.canada.com/ottawacitizen/news/story.html?id=bf82f6a1-edf6-4d68-b6c7-c29288cd117d&k=79370

Now, my 15 lb cat gets a little cranky if she hasn't eaten in a span of 12 hours, and downright spastic if she hasn't eaten in 24 hours. I can't, for a second, imagine that a 150lb young male cat, scared, hungry, lost and not afraid of humans... is HARMLESS.

That's almost as stupid as keeping one as a pet. Retards.

In other wildlife news, a sad bit of news regarding the peregrine falcons that inhabit the Crowne Plaza hotel a handful of blocks away from Casa Primrose.

FALCON EGGS STOLEN?

Eve Ticknor, co-ordinator of the Ottawa Field Naturalist Club's Falcon Watch, said the two eggs, laid around April 8, vanished sometime between the night of April 15 and the afternoon of April 17.

"It could have been someone who wanted to get rid of them, or took them in the hope of selling them, or who was paid to get them," Ms. Ticknor said.

http://www.canada.com/shareit/soundoff/story.html?id=07353a51-da8f-4fb6-8587-e2d2376ddede

One of these incredible birds perched on the electrical wires feeding into our house, and while I'm not really a bird-watching enthusiast, the sight of that magnificent bird was extraordinary. Muscular and regal. Truly spectacular. A special place in hell for the person who stole their eggs.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my big bro!

Un Mensaje para los Tiburones

Yo cago en tu leche!

GO DALLAS... GO DETROIT!!!

What do you get when you mix a filipina with a kiwi?

It should come as no surprize to anyone that I find Filipina women very attractive. I had to go to Africa to find the most beautiful one of all, but that's another blog entry.

There's been a number of times when I see an actress or singer and think, "Wow, she's really pretty," only later to learn that she's of mixed Filipina descent. Plus, there's a bit of personal interest - to see what you get when you mix up Rice and Beans. So without further ado...

Tia Carrere - This striking beauty bares a startling resemblance to the gorgeous Mrs. Beans - Rice gets the comparison all the time (along with the odd Naomi Campbell and strangely Tiger Woods, from a very delusional francophone fellow). While the narrative of Ms. Carrere's lineage is a little confusing, there's definitely some Filipina mixed in there.

Nicole Scherzinger - The only good looking Pussycat Doll was born in Hawaii to a Hawaiian/Russian mum, but traces her roots to Batanes Islands, where her dad is from.

Vanessa Minnillo - Born on Clark Air Force Base in Pampanga to a Filipina mom and an Italian-American dad. Won Miss Teen USA. Currently dating Mr. Jessica
Simpson.

Vanessa Anne Hudgens - Filipina mom. Apparently she's famous for her work in High School Musical... i.e., the odds of me seeing her performances is pretty close to non-existant.

Natassia Malthe - This one is a bit tricky. While everyone agrees that her dad is Norwegian, I've seen her mom listed alternatively as Filipina or Malaysian. However, almost everywhere I've seen says her mum was a nurse... hence I'm thinking Filipina. Apparently she's a Royal Winnipeg Ballet graduate too.

Lexa Doig - Born in Toronto (yuck) to a Filipina mom, and a dad of Irish and Scottish descent. Famous only to Sci-Fi die-hards (starring in Andromeda and Stargate SG1) and guys searching for Filipino/white 50-50s.

In conclusion, a very beautiful albeit somewhat notorious bunch. And what of the guys, you say? Well, its perhaps not as attractive an assortment...

Kirk Hammett - Lead guitarist of Metallica. Hell yeah! Born in San Francisco to a Filipina
mother and an Irish Merchant Marine father (sensing a trend here)

Rob "Deuce Bigalow" Schneider – Saturday Night Live performer, actor, comedian (Jewish father, half-Filipina mother); "Mom's family had the better food; Dad's family had the better jokes."

Hervé "Tattoo" Villechaize - Filipino-French heritage.

Just kidding, there's also...

Enrique Iglesias - Considered by many the sexiest man alive, He is the son of singer Julio Iglesias and Filipina Isabel Preysler. Good lookin' guy, but his music is beyond terrible.

Big DUMB Pharma

Watching US satellite feeds is an interesting experience thanks to the everpresent ads for the latest and greatest wonder drugs for increasingly obscure conditions. My personal favourite quasi-maladie is restless legs syndrom.

Anyways, there's a new drug out called "AcipHex", http://www.aciphex.com/ a clever new product destined to provide relief to millions of suffers of acid reflux disease.

The product's name makes sense, in theory, and I can see the logic of its compilaiton. "Aci-" to describe the basic condition it seeks to reactify, a stylized "pH" to indicate the act of balancing the acidity in the sufferers stomach and "ex" a splashy sounding word that turns it into a complete name.

Unfortunately, when strung together and repeated about 20 times during a 30 second commercial spot, the name comes off sounding like "Ass-Effects".

Just for giggles, I thought I'd do a little digging, and here's just a sampler of the many side effects of this new wonder drug:

Digestive System: diarrhea, nausea, abdominal pain, vomiting, dyspepsia, flatulence, constipation, dry mouth, eructation, gastroenteritis, rectal hemorrhage, melena, ano-rexia, cholelithiasis, mouth ulceration, stomatitis, dysphagia, gingivitis, cholecystitis, increased appetite, abnormal stools, colitis, esophagitis, glossitis, pancreatitis, proctitis. Rare: bloody diarrhea, cholangitis, duodenitis, gastrointestinal hemorrhage, hepatic encephalopathy, hepatitis, hepatoma, liver fatty deposit, salivary gland enlargement, thirst.

Ass-Effects indeed.

Yo No Soy Cyclista

Ordinarily, I'm not a big fan of artistic interpretations of commonly used words. Qualitative and subjective descriptors are fair game - afterall, who I am to question another's view of the definition of spooky or gaudy.

But I draw the line at proper nouns.... that was until the winter of 2007-08.

You see, when the other morning I was helpfully reminded by the perpetually effervescent Weather Network staff that it was the first day of spring, I had to ask... Spring? By what possible definition is this Spring?

The old ground hog's day canard has always been a pet peeve of mine. Under the worst case scenario, we are destined for 6 more weeks of winter. Which would mean, the end of winter is approximately the end of March. Sounds frickin' good to me. Somebody brief the weather gods, cuz they didn't get the memo.

Ottawa's "official" transition into Spring is totally meaningless. Consequently, I will substitute my own definition of winter as it is a better point of demarcation than the "4 equal parts" calendar seasons or the phobias of a rodent. To me, winter begins when my bike is taken off the road - when it is too dark and too much hassle to ride into work or to run errands. Winter ends when the roads are clear enough that it's more convenient to cycle than walk. Winter is a drag, you see, because I'm denied the liberty and speed that my bike brings.

The temperature is totally irrelevant to my definition of winter. It is the snow and the darkness that makes winter, and while the days have become longer, there is an 80 cm base of snow on the unplowed paths in Ottawa. By my definition.... it is still winter.

By the way, this is Beans' first post, and afterall, Gallo Pinto without beans is just rice.

p.s. Flames vs. Oilers tonight. If the Flames win, the Oilers are eliminated!!